Our eyes met, and it never got diverted, I stared at him as long and as hard as possible, wishing all that I saw was just a mistake; the head could not have turned, it was probably the wind; the grunting sound was probably a small animal somewhere nearby my current location.

Them dead beings, aint possible that they could stand again once more. I reassured myself deep in my heart. My eyes still unmoving from Johan's pale and definitely dead face. The blue lips, the lack of luster, the dark, open pupils. Not one in that condition can still pass off as alive.

I jumped back at once in realization and disgust, I closed his eyelids before lifting him off the Square's floors. Whatever opened his eyes once again can't be hatred that brought him to open his eyes suddenly at me... Unless...

He hath to still be holding his grudge. I thought to myself. I stood up straight, eyes never moving away from Johan's dead gaze. I look at him with a sense of guilt and regret, Have I really been the one whom he hated so? Even more so than the one who took his very life?

Or does he not know that what I did was in fact, for his and my own good? Reasoning never worked, never for me, I know it's the truth, but all I can ever achieve is sounding like a whining pig, that's why I always kept this secret within myself.

And even then, who would forgive such a wretched scum as me? Him who commited such hideous deeds behind a fellow's back. Him who have sinned so heavily against his own trusting mother. Him who have fled his comrades to die.

No. I thought to myself. 'Tis not be the time for self pity, 'tis be the time to find answers. I focused my eyes back at what's ahead of me: Johan's dead body. His eyes still unmoving and unsettling as ever, I kneeled down once again, this time, with my hand on the hilt of my beloved blade, sheathed silently at my waist.

I inspected Johan's face once again, this time, there is no more signs of life. He lay there, unmoving. As though he had just gave me a scare and is now saying sorry for doing so. His face rather remorseful, and hands strewn across his belly.

"Rest, my dear comrade, you whom have lived through the darkest with me, now only one shall hold the secret." I muttered under my breath. I held my hand out, closed his eyes once again, and finished up the grave for my dear friend without incident.

Sweating profusely after the few hours I spent on the hill, I sat back down again and looked at Yardrow once more. Now there be only one who holds the secret, and it shall die with him. I clenched my left hand upon the grass on the floor. Then held out my hand and opened it.

The blades of grass I grasped upon flew in the wind, though scarce, it's enough for the leaves to dance a distance ahead of me. Though I may be a bad friend, I will never let this secret out. I thought to myself once more. Even if it costs my life. And 'til the day I flutter like the grass, seperated from the protective Earth, It shall live within me, forever.

Guilt was what I felt, and remorse is what I have left for myself. But yet apathy at the current world is what I believe pushes me on. Let it loose, I suddenly remembered myself saying. This time, we struck ourselves a gold mine, so just let it loose for the night!

And that night, was the night that I will never forgive myself for.